Neil Meili

Zen Cowboy Poet & Freelance Philosopher

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Tag Archives: Humor

Not Quite Sainthood

Audio Recordings / tagged Death, Humor, Last Word, Presidents, Trump / January 14, 2025 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Jimmy Carter was
an eminently decent man

but not above living this long
just to throw half-mast shade
on an inauguration parade

Image courtesy of The Carter Center

John Deere

Audio Recordings, Cowboy Poetry, Farm, Personal Growth, Ranch Life / tagged Humor, Tractor, Vibrations / December 21, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

After a poetry reading down in Texas
a couple of smart successful executive types who seemed to like what they came to hear are buying me a long necked beer

While searching for a common thread that between us there might be
we discovered that it's none other than a John Deere model 'D'

So we talk about the good old days
all growing up and farming wheat
and that old slow two cylinder's whump whump heartbeat

All marveling and remembering how you could stand on one all day
and still be fresh and ready to go out all night and play

We agreed at the time we weren't sure why
although I think I've got if figured now
and because of the kind of a guy I am
I'll gladly tell you now

You see

A little while back I run across a group
advertising a marvelous breakthrough
a mind improvement program teaching something completely new

If you give them a few hundred dollars
and about the best part of a year
they will take you from Beta to Alpha
relaxed as any guru and wise as any seer

So I buy all of their expensive gear
put those tiny speakers in each ear
and darned if I don't hear

The sound of an old John Deere

1 Reply

Clock Failure

Audio Recordings / tagged Humor, Punctuality / December 14, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

The old clock
would wave its hand
trying to get her attention

The new clock
has only numbers
so don't care for its chances

Fall Retreat

Audio Recordings, Nature / tagged Autumn, Cold, Humor / October 30, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Lilliputian army
wind at back in full attack

Rust-edged swords
at unarmored ankles flailing
harries me to any door that opens

With Ghosts

Audio Recordings, Poems about Poetry / tagged Humor, Loneliness, Sharing, Stories / September 28, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

If I was ever alone, alone
I'd go hunting for a house with ghosts

They tend to derpress the real estate prices
and add little or nothing to grocery expenses

I'm always happy to hear anyone's stories
and they must have some doozies to share

They will extend the same courtesy to me
listening to my poetry endlessly and patiently
and groaning like you did at the groanier ones

Dad and Roy

Audio Recordings, Relationships / tagged Death, Friendship, Humor / September 21, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Dad and Roy were the best of friends
they drank and fought and played
and laughed like nobody laughed
for fifty years and more

Dad had a room in the nursing home
way down at the end of the hall
When Roy was admitted as well
a nurse wheeled him down that hall

They sat footrest to footrest
then Roy said "So it's come to this"
and they both had a hell of a laugh

Dad died in late December
Roy lasted three months more
They were buried twenty feet apart
in the prairie town where they played

I can see them there now
sitting on their shiny new stones
having a smoke and a chew
and a good pull on a forty of rye

Roy says "So it's come to this"
and they both have a hell of a laugh

1 Reply

Garbo Laughs The Donald Doesn’t

Audio Recordings / tagged Humor, Politics, Trump / September 12, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

The man that hath
no music in himself …
is fit for treasons,
stratagems, and spoils
- Shakespeare

Hate isn’t humor
mocking handicaps doesn’t count

The man who cannot laugh
at himself or with his fellow man
is a joke

A locker room pass doesn’t count
if you’re not a jock

Big Tent Politics

Audio Recordings, News / tagged Fear, Humor, Kamala, Trump / August 25, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns
who paint their faces in funny colors

Not far from here is a circus
with a lady on a high wire on a horse

In case you wondered what clowns fear

A Funny Story

Audio Recordings, Family, Remembering / tagged Childhood, Humor / July 21, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

In the dream I say to brother Wally

You're going to have to tell the story
of the milk I drank way back then
is going to come out my nose again

Little Church

Audio Recordings, Family, Ranch Life, Remembering / tagged Humor, Religion / July 17, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Sometimes, as far from everywhere as we were,
a visiting or student minister would make the long trek and our one room school would become a church for the day

It didn't happen often
so the first time my three year old brother sitting in the second row heard him say
"Jesus Christ"
he turned and said
"He swore Mom, the minister swore"
"Shh" said my mother
"He swore, he swore, he swore" said Wally
every effort to silence him only increasing his insistence and volume

Most fun that most of us, except my mother, ever had in church

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Gail on In-TuitionJanuary 2, 2025
Love it! “The cost of this is only in the not.”
Ken Christopher on Missing the MysteryDecember 30, 2024
Yes, the Mystery is what keeps it exciting
Ken Christopher on Christmas CardsDecember 29, 2024
Yep, the sleigh got us to town on train day and me to school every day, the poem is a…
Anonymous on Why Children Are ChristmasDecember 23, 2024
So simple, so captivating! Nice Neil to give me the feel :) Murray A
Ken Christopher on John DeereDecember 21, 2024
Love it❤️

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